What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store? Guardians of the Galaxy.

gin /dʒɪn/ n. 1. a clear alcoholic spirit distilled from grain or malt and flavoured with juniper berries. 2. a clear alcoholic beverage also known as liquid sanity.

When all else fails, read the instructions. — Murphy’s laws on technology.

Any project can be estimated accurately, once it’s completed.

auditor /ˈɔːdɪtə/ n. 1. a person who conducts an audit. 2. someone who arrives after the battle and bayonet all the wounded.

A guy goes in for a job interview and sits down with the boss.

The boss asks him, “What do you think is your worst quality?”

The man says “I’m probably too honest.”

The boss says, “That’s not a bad thing, I think being honest is a good quality.”

The man replies, “I don’t care about what you think!”

The human brain is amazing… it functions 24/7 from the day we’re born, and only stops when we’re writing code or speaking to someone attractive.

ERROR 4:04, Sleep not Found.

Alcohol, because no great story ever started with a salad.

office /ˈɒfɪs/ n. 1. a room, set of rooms, or building used as a place for commercial, professional, or bureaucratic work. 2. a place to relax after a strenuous night at home.