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FREE DOWNLOAD > Pipelines and Fat Cats — Project Management Jokes #Part8

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Home » Jokes and Humor » Pipelines and Fat Cats — Project Management Jokes #Part8

Pipelines and Fat Cats — Project Management Jokes #Part8

2 Nov, 2022 —Stefania Galatolo (updated 23 Jan, 2023)

Check out this collection of funny jokes on management, ERP jokes, project management jokes.

Have fun with these funny project manager jokes and kanban jokes!

The only thing you know about your project plan at the start of a project is that it is wrong.

People do what you inspect, not what you expect.

Try hard, fail fast.

If there is a 50—50 chance that something can go wrong, then 9 times out of ten it will. (Paul Harvey)

A two year project will take three years, a three year project will never finish.

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. (Douglas Adams)

The 7 Phases of a Project:
1. Wild enthusiasm
2. Disillusionment
3. Confusion
4. Panic
5. Search for the guilty
6. Punishment of the innocent
7. Promotion of non—participants.

Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how you can get along without it.

If you are as confused as I am, then you know as much as I do.

A lack of planning by you does not constitute an emergency for me.

There are two types of software: bad software and the next release.

Project management is just common sense. The trouble is common sense isn't very common in our organization.

Murphy was an optimist.

Accept that some days you'll be the pigeon and some days you'll be the statue.

Work expands to fill the Time. Cost expands to meet the Budget.

Today you idiot-proof it…tomorrow a new and improved idiot arrives.

If you can’t convince them, then confuse them.

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by Stefania Galatolo

ChatGPT Prompts by Stefania Galatolo

Pipelines and Fat Cats — Project Management Jokes #Part8