Check out this collection of funny quality control jokes, project management jokes, and project management quotes.
Have fun with these best project management quotes and agile jokes!
Estimators do it in groups: bottom up and top down.
If you don't attack the risks, the risks will attack you.
Murphy, O'Malley, Sod, Parkinson, Hofstadter, Price and Cole are alive and well — and working on your project.
Good estimators aren't modest: if it's huge, they say so.
Anything that can be changed will be changed until there is no time left to change anything.
No plan ever survived contact with the enemy.
There are no good project managers: only lucky ones.
If project content is allowed to change freely, the rate of change will exceed the rate of progress.
The person who says it will take the longest and cost the most is the only one with a clue on how to do the job.
If you do something that you are sure will meet everyone's approval, someone will not like it.
The bitterness of poor quality lingers long after the sweetness of meeting the date is forgotten.
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck... it probably is a duck.
If you can keep your head while all about you are losing theirs, you haven't understood the plan.
A little risk management saves a lot of fan cleaning.
The sooner you get behind schedule, the more time you have to make it up.
When all's said and done a lot more is said than done.
Project teams detest weekly progress reporting because it so vividly manifests their lack of progress.
If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can leave until the day after.
Feather and down are padding. Changes and contingencies will be real events.
Give me a date, I won't hold you to it.
If you don't plan, it doesn't work. If you do plan, it doesn't work either. Why plan!
If the user does not believe in the system, a parallel system will be developed. Neither system will work very well.