“Alcohol, because no great story ever started with a salad…”
I make wine disappear. What’s your superpower?
Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you forget the question.
My boss told me that there is no such thing as problems, only opportunities. I said, ‘That’s great. Well, I have a serious drinking opportunity.’
alcohol /ˈalkəhɒl/ n. 1. a colorless volatile flammable liquid which is produced by the natural fermentation of sugars and is the intoxicating constituent of wine, beer, spirits, and other drinks, and is also used as an industrial solvent and as fuel. 2. the buffer between reality and a good night; has been known to make people seem more attractive and make obviously stupid ideas seem like good sense.
Napoleon Bonaparte — Napoleon Born2Party.
Just tried to make my own hand sanitizer — it came out as a Spritz.
‘I’m going to wine down.’ ‘You mean wind down.’ ‘No.’
wine /wʌɪn/ n. 1. an alcoholic drink made from fermented grape juice. 2. a hug in a glass.
Why is it called Alcoholics ANONYMOUS when the first thing you do is stand up and say, ‘My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic.’ — Judith Leyster (1629). The Merry Drinker (Jolly Toper) [Oil on canvas]. Frans Hals Museum, Haarlem.
drunk /kriːˈeɪtɪv/ adj. 1. affected by alcohol to the extent of losing control of one’s faculties or behavior. 2. suffering from vision, hearing and speech impairment, with an insatiable appetite for pizza. 3. possessing an illogical belief that s/he is gorgeous despite dribbling and slobbering.
vodka /ˈvɒdkə/ n. 1. an alcoholic spirit of Russian origin made by distillation of rye, wheat, or potatoes. 2. an alcoholic spirit of Russian origin made by distillation of pure awesomeness.
1 Tequila. 2 Tequila. 3 Tequila. 12 Tequila. Boy, that escalated quickly!
/tɪˈkiːlə/ n. 1. a Mexican alcoholic spirit made from agave. 2. the main reason why you buy limes and salt.
hangover /ˈhaŋəʊvə/ n.1. a severe headache or other after-effects caused by drinking an excess of alcohol. 2. the wrath of grapes.
Alcohol should be served in Capri Sun pouches. When you can no longer get the straw in the hole, you’ve had enough. — Hendrick ter Brugghen (1625). The Merry Drinker [Oil on canvas]. Centraal Museum, Utrecht.
I always take life with a grain of salt, …plus a slice of lemon, …and a shot of tequila.
Alcohol, the best “night-time, speech slurring, headache creating, dehydration having, drink spilling, charm killing, so you think you can dance” medicine.
Drinking game for web devs: (1) Think of a noun (2) Google “.js” (3) If a library with that name exists – drink (@ironshay, Twitter).
I’m not self-medicating myself with booze. The guy at the liquor store wrote me a prescription. Well, he called it a receipt… whatever.
A good thing about water is you can drink it at work. The good thing about vodka is it looks like water.
gin /dʒɪn/ n. 1. a clear alcoholic spirit distilled from grain or malt and flavored with juniper berries. 2. a clear alcoholic beverage also known as liquid sanity.
I won’t be impressed with technology, until I can download a beer.
Alcohol, because no great story ever started with a salad.